Thinkin' About Wax

I'd rather be sleeping, but since I'm waiting for Andy's work clothes to come out of the dryer I'll tell you all about something a tad amazing that happened today.

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During our quarterly visit with Jack's ENT a few weeks ago, we were a little bummed to find out that the tube in his left ear is completely blocked with a chunk of wax. (Seriously, I have the waxiest-eared kids you've ever met.) We needed to get him tested to find out if it was affecting his hearing in that ear. Duh, it's blocked, right? But I digress.

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Long, long story, but we have no audiologist at ASDB right now that can see us, so the folks at our early childhood program (CHIC) set us up to see staff members down at the University of Arizona. It was quite an adventure getting down there, and there was more than 1 close call with a wayward student pedestrian or bicyclist. Can't you see the GIANT Suburban driving in the street, people? But again I digress.

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Back to the topic at hand. I've had more than one person ask just how they test these little munchkins to find out what their hearing is like. Here's a quick explanation:

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1. Stick 1 baby, 1 mommy, & 1 test assistant in a big box of a sound booth bursting with wires, cameras, computers & mounds of toys.
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2. Strap said baby into a high chair or make him balance on Mommy's lap without upsetting him, because that will ruin the test.
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3. Pull a LONG wire out from the giant mass of electronics lashed to the wall & clip the 2 separate raisin-sized boxes at the end to the baby's back/shoulders.
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4. Jam the plastic tubing attached to the boxes into baby's ears & spend the next 30 minutes trying to keep him from yanking them out.
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5. Test assistant now VERY QUIETLY waves interesting toys & various attention-getters in front of baby, without allowing him to touch them, speak about them, or actually interact with them in any way. Sounds fun, huh?
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6. The audiologist on the other side of the police department-looking window uses a computer to feed sounds into either the right or left ear via the ever-coming-loose tubing.
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7. Baby should now wrench his attention from beautiful sparkly ball & prickly-sided blocks & look across the room in the direction that the sound came into his ear.
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8. Audiologist activates a light & small motorized toy on the wall as a "reward" for baby completing test correctly.
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9. Repeat OVER, & OVER, & OVER with various frequencies & sound effects until a satisfactory reading is obtained.

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Awesome.

I agree with someone that described it as a "soft science", but that makes the audiology staff really mad, so don't tell them I said that. It's how the system works, so we grudgingly play along.

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So, after about 35 minutes of wrestling, cajoling, & bribing they let us out of the box. Jack just runs like an escaped convict after we get done. It's hilarious. I, however, now get to sit down & examine the results of the test that are graphed on a chart that looks like a map of the ocean floor somewhere off the coast of South Carolina.

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Imagine my surprise when they announced that Jack has -and I quote- NORMAL hearing in his right ear. Seriously, NORMAL. Of course, we will have to endure many more sessions locked in the box to verify this, but it's amazing for me to hear what the Lord promised us so long ago. And if he has a bad testing session next time, that could mean that they say it was just a fluke. Only time will tell, I suppose.

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Of course, his other ear has got some problems because the wax is totally blocking the tube & consequently, his hearing is showing signs of that. So we'll do some more testing to see if we need to have the ENT do surgery again, or if the hearing aid makes up for the loss of hearing from the wax.

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I would bet $100 that none of you have ever concentrated so intently on your child's ear wax. It's amazing to think that such a thing as his ear secretions can so fully govern what we do in our lives. Ridiculous.

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I refuse to be excited, giddy, happy, or even a tad hopeful about today. I'm just going to carry on normally & let the experts handle the rest. Because there's one thing I've learned while being a mom- What you think you know, you just don't, & that's just the way it is.