Musings

How odd to be able to be on the computer & blogging in the middle of the day! I have asked myself continually over the past couple of days "What on earth did we ever do with our time before we had kids?" I feel like I should have all sorts of projects & things to do. Lots of time, lots of stuff to get done, right? Apparently that's not the case for this mommy.

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The thing that I keep thinking of (because I have lots of time to think) is how maybe I still haven't mastered the art of appreciating my children. Honestly, on Monday night before Nana came to get them, I was so aggravated & frustrated with my kids that I literally wanted to scream! (And I think I actually did yell a little!) But on Tuesday morning, they hadn't even gotten out of the driveway & on the road before I was all upset & crying because I missed them. Maybe it's all hormones, but I don't think so. I've made a conscious effort in the past to just slow down & really just be in the moment with my children. But I guess it's like anything else, we get caught up in "life" & just forget!

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Being away from the kids for all this time is teaching me that I feel totally lost without them. Somewhere along the path from marriage to mother of 3, my kids became my whole life! When did this happen? When did my entire life become devoted to & run by two little 3-foot rugrats? How is it that while I still like to think that I'm a carefree college kid, I actually AM that dowdy mother that would rather be at the park with her kids than doing just about anything else?

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I've decided that I am proud to acknowledge how pathetically single-minded I am. My kids & husband are my entire existence, and that's exactly how it should be! The Lord made us women to be the caretakers & nurturers of our families and we should revel in that calling, instead of finding all kinds of other things to fill our time & lives with. What an epiphany!

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The kids will be home on Saturday, and in the meantime I'm going to try & find something to fill my time. Maybe basketweaving?

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As for my Dr's appt yesterday, not so good. Apparently I look horrible! (That's an exact quote from the expert Dr lady) So I get to go back tomorrow & have them check me out again, and we'll go from there. I'm still dialating, and am at a 3 now. Maybe this kid will come all on his own, which would definitely be a change for me! But let's just say I'm not counting on it. I don't EVER have that kind of good luck.

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So Nana & everybody else that's wrangling my kids this week- THANK YOU! I hear that my 2 innocent little angels are managing to wear out aunts, uncles, cousins, & grandparents. Just a little taste of what I do all by my lonesome every day! Hee, hee- I think I'll go take a nap!